Cold Is a Relative Thing

               COLD IS A RELATIVE THING

                     65 above zero:
      Floridians turn on the heat
        People in Alaska plant gardens.

                   60 above zero:
     Californians shiver uncontrollably
         People in Alaska sunbathe.

                  50 above zero:

     Italian & English cars won't start.
         People in Alaska drive with the windows down..

                 40 above zero:
     People in Georgia don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
          People in Alaska throw on a long sleeve shirt.

                 35 above zero:
     New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
          People in Alaska have the last cookout before it gets cold.

                 20 above Zero
     People in Miami all die.
         People in Alaska close the windows at night.

                      Zero:
     Californians fly away to Mexico .
          People in Alaska get out their winter coats.

               10 below zero:
     Hollywood disintegrates.
           The Girl Scouts in Alaska are selling cookies door to door.

               20 below zero:
     Washington DC runs out of hot air.
         People in Alaska let the dogs sleep indoors.

               30 below zero:
      Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
          People in Alaska get upset because they can't start the Snow-mobile.

               40 below zero:
     ALL atomic motion stops .
         People in Alaska start saying,"It's getting a little chilly out"

               50 below zero:
    Hell freezes over.
         Alaska public schools will open 2 hours late