- kids were using a new excuse to stay up late: "But Mom,
my pajamas haven't thawed out yet!"
- when kids go outside to play, they can only go as far
as the extension cord will allow.
- groping in crowds was considered acceptable as long as
you were wearing big woolly mittens.
- we had to carry around hammers and chisels so we could
get out of our parkas.
- Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans.
- perps wouldn't take off their mitts when they were arrested....
- the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with
every new pair of eyeglasses.
- the Statue of Liberty was seen sticking that torch
under her robe.
- you need the wallpaper steamer to get undressed.
- "blanket suffocation" is now the number one cause of
fatalities.
- Playboy magazine stopped publishing because no women
would take their clothes off.
- the computer store was selling giant keyboards so
people could type with mittens.
- "hot pants" started selling again.... until people
figured out they weren't.
- kids had to stay inside all week.... parents are now
organizing a "teacher appreciation day."
- anyone with a body temperature near 104°F was in danger
of being hauled out of their sickbed and used as a heater.
- firefighters couldn't convince people to get out of
their houses when they caught fire.
- we had to chop up the piano for firewood.... but we
only got two chords.
- we didn't clean the house, we just defrosted it.
- the lights would only go on in the house when someone
opened the door.
- I tried to take the garbage out, but it didn't want to go.
- we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled
inside it to warm up.
- when I turned on the shower, I got hail.
- I chipped a tooth on my soup!
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